September 29th
A date I have been thinking about since January when I got my first positive pregnancy test (pee and blood mind you). First, it was our due date. Then it became our “should have been” due date.
A miscarriage is not something I would wish upon anyone. It is the one thing in my life that truly ripped my heart out and stomped all over it.
I wasn’t sure how I would feel on the day. I considered booking a weekend getaway but ultimately decided to just get outside for the day.
SL and I love hiking so that’s what we opted to do. Had we not had plans, I might have wasted a beautiful fall day hiding from the world in bed.
Would this date be easier had I been pregnant by now? Maybe. Who knows. I’d be lying if I said that my pregnancy envy wasn’t at an all-time high. It’s unimaginable hard to see my social media feeds filled with baby pictures, birth announcements and pregnancy announcements. As happy as I am for my friends and family and their growing families, it damn near stops me in my tracks and I have to quickly scroll by.
Moving Forward…
Are we out of the woods (hey hey Tay)?
Yes and no. No, we aren’t because there are still a lot of unanswered questions that may never be answered.
Yes, we are still trying.
Yes, I’ve tested EVERYTHING in the book to see if there is something wrong with me. There isn’t.
Yes, SL has been tested. He’s all good too.
Yes, we’ve gotten second opinions from fertility doctors.
Yes, we are moving forward because the only other option is to not. And that’s not actually an option.
I thought 2017 was hard, ha. 2018 has been a real bitch.
