A few weeks ago I sat through a meeting with another business unit at work and lets just say it didn’t go well – for me. A whole team of people were projecting insecurities by way of telling me I was bad at my job.
I immediately went into that familiar imposter syndrome zone but quickly pulled myself out of it. I know I am good at my craft and good at my job. So why are people so hell bent on trying to make me feel otherwise?
I came to a very real realization. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
What you are projecting on me is more a reflection of you than it is of me.What you are projecting on me is more a reflection of you than it is of me. Click To Tweet
There was a reason this meeting was scheduled when my whole team was out of the office. That was deliberate. And that reflects poorly on the offenders. They were projecting insecurities and I was that day’s target.
Finding tiny, overlooked mistakes and flaunting them in front of a crowd is not constructive criticism, it’s purposeful belittling.
I work in HTML 50% of my day and yes, often times I do overlook small things like a logo being 10px off or small spelling errors when I am creating an email. But that is why I have a team around around me to pick up on these things. I am not a one woman show and I am in fact human and therefore not perfect.
I recently took a strengths finders test and my top 5 strengths were as follows:
I find all of these to be spot on, especially my #1, maximizer.
I always strive for excellence and I have very high standards for everyone else. Holding other to my high standards, I realize, can be off putting and may label me as difficult to work with. But hey, shouldn’t everyone be holding themselves to such high standards? Maybe. Maybe not.
So yes, the meeting offenders may be put off by the high standards that I hold for them and therefore project their insecurities on me but how do I then move forward?
Do I nod my head and smile?
Do I let it go in one ear and out the other?
Do I insult them back?
None of these options sound right. It might take me years to figure out exactly how to deal with situations like these. I might never figure it all out.
But what I can do is be ok with the fact that not everyone is just like me (thank god) and their standard for excellence are different from mine (and thats ok). Knowing that people are projecting insecurities rather than being critical give me piece of mind.
Ok, enough rambling for today. Thank you Amanda for letting me think out loud.